mockumentary
Best imagined as a documentary narrated by the legendary David Attenborough.
"Each year, the mannequins begin the long crawl back to the spawning grounds while shoppers carefully pretend not to notice."
"Having reached the end of his larval stage and now enclosed in the safety of the cocoon, this management hopeful’s old form will begin to dissolve and rearrange. If all goes well, he will emerge soon: damp, blinking, and asking for the Q2 numbers."
"They all longed for it, but today only one would find its forever bathroom."
"Here we observe the urban birdwatcher: patient, cautious, and unwilling to jump to conclusions. After sustained observation of the nearby gull, this eager novice had narrowed it down to 'probably bird.'"
"The office plant leaned toward the new intern with the quiet hunger of middle management."
"The restless adolescent returns to the herd, chastened by the discovery that freedom, in the end, is mostly parking lots."
"Here, among the ficus, pothos, snake plant, and assorted others, the visitor remains almost perfectly still, and by midday the office flora have accepted her as one of their own."
"Every Thursday, the office chairs chose one employee to learn the old songs."
"No one liked the new intern, especially after the water cooler began calling him Father."
"The sandwich had been offered in good faith. The statue remained unmoved."
