mockumentary
"The office plant leaned toward the new intern with the quiet hunger of middle management."
"The restless adolescent returns to the herd, chastened by the discovery that freedom, in the end, is mostly parking lots."
"Here, among the ficus, pothos, snake plant, and assorted others, the visitor remains almost perfectly still, and by midday the office flora have accepted her as one of their own."
"Every Thursday, the office chairs chose one employee to learn the old songs."
"No one liked the new intern, especially after the water cooler began calling him Father."
"The sandwich had been offered in good faith. The statue remained unmoved."
"The mailbox, unsatisfied with their brief daily encounters, attempts a more lasting arrangement."
"The bench was dedicated to a man who, by all accounts, preferred standing."
"No one could prove the Ficus was in charge, which was exactly how the Ficus wanted it."
"The ducks accepted his apology, but not his version of events."
