# Evan, Perhaps
> Evan Mercer records grief, cats, office life, and a city increasingly full of unexplained public absurdity.
Public Ghost content for AI and LLM tooling. Use `/llms-full.txt` for consolidated page and post context.
Append `.md` to any post or page URL to get the content in Markdown (for example, `/example-post.md`).

## Pages
- [Archive](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/archive-meta.md)
- [Index](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/index.md)
- [Just jokes](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/just-jokes.md)
- [Just story](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/just-story.md)
- [Latest](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/latest-meta.md)
- [Start Here](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/start.md) - Hi, I’m Evan. This is my life, such as it is. Editor’s note: This site purports to document the daily life of Evan Mercer, a tech worker living alone in the city. As yet, his existence remains unverified. The archive begins shortly after he returns to work from an unspecified absence. Start with th…

## Posts
- [The door is back, apparently, and with a vengeance.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/the-door-is-back-apparently-and-with-a-vengeance.md) - I asked if we should evacuate or call 911. He said, “Give it ten minutes. Sometimes these things settle.” He was right.
- [Everyone else brought laptops like cowards.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/everyone-else-brought-laptops-like-cowards.md)
- [Leah](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/leah.md) - Been going through some old photos of Leah and me. For the first time in a long time I can think about her without completely falling apart. There's something about her. There's something... Something.
- [Interlude - Squid - Terrestrial Changeover Blues (2007–2012)](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/interlude-squid-terrestrial-changeover-blues-2007-2012.md) - I'm posting this for no better reason than I like it and have nothing better to go with. I'll probably make this a recurring thing.
- [This is what hybrid work was always leading to.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/this-is-what-hybrid-work-was-always-leading-to.md)
- [Portable, collapsible, enforceable perimeter. I like it.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/portable-collapsible-enforceable-perimeter-i-like-it.md)
- [Recent developments in sand.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/recent-developments-in-sand.md) - Wholesome fun for the entire family!
- [This is why you shouldn’t leave your laundry unattended.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/this-is-why-you-shouldnt-leave-your-laundry-unattended.md)
- [The Witness Cloak](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/the-witness-cloak.md)
- [I think they were demonstrating virtual-particle-pair creation from fluctuations in quantum fields. Or a workplace disagreement with better costumes.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/i-think-they-were-demonstrating-virtual-particle-creation-from-fluctuations-in-quantum-fields-or-a-workplace-disagreement-with-better-costumes.md)
- [Someone accused them of having tunnel vision. Big mistake.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/someone-accused-them-of-having-tunnel-vision-big-mistake.md)
- ["Here the North American plaza bird incubates its egg, relying on camouflage, stillness, and everyone’s unwillingness to get involved."](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/here-the-north-american-plaza-bird-incubates-its-egg-relying-on-camouflage-stillness-and-everyones-unwillingness-to-get-involved.md)
- [This is what happens when you try to cut through Project Management. They removed what they could and released him back into Accounting.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/this-is-what-happens-when-you-try-to-cut-through-project-management-they-removed-what-they-could-and-released-him-back-to-accounting.md)
- [Local theater group performing an adaptation of 'The Sound of Music.' I may have missed some setup.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/local-theater-group-performing-an-adaptation-of-the-sound-of-music-i-may-have-missed-some-setup.md)
- [He’s trying very hard to make "Puddin’ Shoes Mike" happen. Still better than "Tarantula Pants Mike" was.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/hes-trying-very-hard-to-make-puddin-shoes-mike-happen-still-better-than-tarantula-pants-mike.md)
- [Shade delivery was inevitable.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/shade-delivery-was-inevitable.md)
- [One question answered, I guess.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/one-question-answered-i-guess.md)
- [They had come to see if the rumors were true.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/they-had-come-to-see-if-the-rumors-were-true.md)
- [He said it needed time to breathe. I said I needed time to call his case worker.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/he-said-it-needed-time-to-breathe-i-said-i-needed-time-to-call-his-case-worker.md)
- [The lid data suggested the city’s unregistered tiny coffee-drinking population was much larger than previously thought.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/the-lid-data-suggested-the-citys-unregistered-tiny-coffee-drinking-population-was-much-larger-than-previously-thought.md)
- [Zoo day](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/zoo-day.md) - Had a great time at the zoo with Nora and Julie. Julie’s favorites were the orangutan, the elephants, the giraffes, the penguins, and the gorillas. Good day. Everyone came home tired in the correct way.
- [Nobody tells you photography is mostly advanced crouching.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/nobody-tells-you-photography-is-mostly-advanced-crouching.md)
- [This is why the shot clock was introduced.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/this-is-why-the-shot-clock-was-introduced.md)
- ["Each year, the mannequins begin the long crawl back to the spawning grounds while shoppers carefully pretend not to notice."](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/each-year-the-mannequins-begin-the-long-crawl-back-to-the-spawning-grounds-while-shoppers-carefully-pretend-not-to-notice.md)
- [A routine amount of impossible.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/a-routine-amount-of-impossible.md)
- [Someone said, “I think it's the cat door guy!” It wasn’t.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/someone-said-i-think-thats-the-guy-who-got-stuck-in-the-cat-door-it-wasnt.md)
- [The synchronized laundry team looked strong today.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/the-synchronized-laundry-team-looked-strong-today.md)
- [A brief pause for driver recalibration.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/a-brief-pause-for-driver-recalibration.md)
- [This was not helpful, but it was sincere.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/this-was-not-helpful-but-it-was-sincere.md)
- [Formal man update](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/formal-man-update.md) - I've seen him a couple of times since our meeting. He never even acknowledges my existence no matter how much I stare at him. I still can't figure out what his story is. Nora suggested he was like her, someone who saw my site and decided to have some fun. He doesn't seem like the type, but who know…
- [You could tell he had already said “come on” many times.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/you-could-tell-he-had-already-said-come-on-many-times.md)
- [Having now attended meetings with both oversight and undersight, I prefer email.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/having-now-attended-meetings-with-both-oversight-and-undersight-i-prefer-email.md)
- [The last time they said “Just put on the damn shoes,” the argument lasted forty minutes.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/the-last-time-they-said-just-put-on-the-damn-shoes-the-argument-lasted-forty-minutes.md)
- [He’s the head scientist at my company.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/hes-the-head-scientist-at-my-company.md) - I asked him what’s up with the belts. He would only say "Just in case." Why does everyone keep saying that?
- [Some days you just sit where the day puts you.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/some-days-you-just-sit-where-the-day-puts-you.md)
- [He stood there like the bench was the one embarrassing itself.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/he-stood-there-like-the-bench-was-the-one-embarrassing-itself.md)
- [The Mouth of the Void nearly pulled me in, but I remembered I needed paper towels.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/the-mouth-of-the-void-nearly-pulled-me-in-but-i-remembered-i-needed-paper-towels.md)
- [The pancakes had obtained a human host and immediately used it to order pancakes.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/the-pancakes-had-obtained-a-human-host-and-immediately-used-it-to-order-more-pancakes.md)
- [She won the building raffle, but the prize was a "unit sanitation event."](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/she-won-the-building-raffle-but-the-prize-was-a-unit-sanitation-event.md)
- ["Having reached the end of his larval stage and now enclosed in the safety of the cocoon, this management hopeful’s old form will begin to dissolve and rearrange. If all goes well, he will emerge soon: damp, blinking, and asking for the Q2 numbers."](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/having-reached-the-end-of-his-larval-stage-and-now-enclosed-in-the-safety-of-the-cocoon-this-management-hopefuls-old-form-will-begin-to-dissolve-and-rearrange-if-all-goes-well-he-will-e.md)
- [None of them would admit to being a photo of Derek.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/none-of-them-would-admit-to-being-a-photo-of-derek.md)
- [The office has begun preparing for gentler emergencies.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/the-office-has-begun-preparing-for-gentler-emergencies.md)
- [He walked to the center, stopped, and said, "This is where the other me is supposed to be."](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/he-walked-to-the-center-stopped-and-said-this-is-where-the-other-me-is-supposed-to-be.md)
- [At first he scoffed at fish walking, but he had to admit he’d never been more popular.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/at-first-he-scoffed-at-fish-walking-but-he-had-to-admit-hed-never-been-more-popular.md)
- [The bags brought a spare human in case of emergencies. Or doors.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/the-expedition-had-packed-one-human-in-case-of-emergency.md)
- [They were demanding to know what the plant had done with Dennis from Payroll, how long it had been pretending to be him, and where it gets those amazing crullers.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/they-were-demanding-to-know-what-the-plant-had-done-with-dennis-from-payroll-how-long-it-had-been-pretending-to-be-him-and-where-it-gets-those-amazing-crullers.md) - Still don't know what to make of what happened yesterday. I will post more about it later. In the meantime, if he wants stupid jokes, he gets stupid jokes.
- ["Hello, Evan."](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/hello-evan.md) - This happened this morning. I'm still processing. He had a higher voice than I would have thought, and spoke with an accent I couldn't categorize let alone identify.
- [He was a visitor to our country, and unfamiliar with our ways.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/he-was-a-visitor-to-our-country-and-unfamiliar-with-our-ways.md)
- [I am under cat arrest until further notice.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/i-am-under-cat-arrest-until-further-notice.md)
- [We’ve all had days like this. Hers just came all at once.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/weve-all-had-days-like-this-hers-just-came-all-at-once.md)
- [I asked, "Is the void fresh-squeezed too?"](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/i-asked-is-the-void-fresh-squeezed-she-took-my-dollar-and-said-no-this-is-the-kind-that-waits.md) - She took my dollar and said, "No. It is older than time and more final than death." Worth it.
- [You never think you’re going to see one in the flesh. It seemed dangerous, but apparently it survives entirely on pizza and beer.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/you-never-think-youre-going-to-see-one-in-the-flesh-it-seemed-dangerous-but-apparently-it-survives-entirely-on-pizza-and-beer.md)
- [He called his supervisor "Mommy" at the department meeting.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/he-called-his-supervisor-mommy-at-the-department-meeting.md)
- [Nobody likes to talk about how packing peanuts are grown.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/nobody-likes-to-talk-about-how-packing-peanuts-are-grown.md)
- [Yet another meeting has escaped containment.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/yet-another-meeting-has-escaped-containment.md)
- [Fork amnesty day.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/fork-amnesty-day.md)
- [People really need to make sure to wipe their shoes.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/people-really-need-to-make-sure-to-wipe-their-shoes.md)
- [Nobody complained until it started leaving a trail of secretions near Reception.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/nobody-complained-until-it-started-secreting-near-reception.md)
- [Best to keep your distance when someone is displaying their noodles.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/best-to-keep-your-distance-when-someone-is-displaying-their-noodles.md)
- [Quest completed just in time. Probably saved the timeline, or at least a library late fee.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/quest-completed-just-in-time-probably-saved-the-timeline-or-at-least-a-library-late-fee.md)
- [After failing to adapt to domesticity, he was being returned to the wild.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/after-failing-to-adapt-to-domesticity-he-was-being-returned-to-the-wild.md)
- [I said “Office Olympics?” They looked at me like I was an idiot and said, “No. Supplies.” Okay then.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/i-said-office-olympics-they-looked-at-me-like-i-was-an-idiot-and-said-no-supplies-okay-then.md)
- [I think she likes her new judging tower.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/i-think-she-likes-her-new-judging-tower.md)
- [A normal man would have torn them. A wise man would have used the knife. He chose a third path.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/a-normal-man-would-have-torn-them-a-wise-man-would-have-used-the-knife-he-chose-a-third-path.md)
- [Nobody wanted to confront the park's bench bully.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/nobody-wanted-to-confront-the-parks-bench-bully.md)
- [I’ll pass. I’ll ask Nora if she’s interested.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/ill-pass-ill-ask-nora-if-shes-interested.md)
- [Too many witnesses. Botched proof-of-life photo. Might be one of the worst fake kidnappings attempted by a rubber plant I’ve seen.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/too-many-witnesses-botched-proof-of-life-photo-might-be-one-of-the-dumbest-fake-kidnappings-attempted-by-a-rubber-plant-ive-seen.md)
- [First known field test of the basting suit.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/first-known-field-test-of-the-basting-suit.md)
- [This is why I avoid being first through revolving doors.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/this-is-why-i-avoid-being-first-through-revolving-doors.md)
- [Probably just water damage. Probably.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/probably-just-water-damage-probably.md)
- ["Just in case," he said.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/just-in-case-he-said.md) - I joked "In case of what? An alien invasion?" "Let's hope not," he said.
- ["They all longed for it, but today only one would find its forever bathroom."](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/they-all-longed-for-it-but-today-only-one-would-find-its-forever-bathroom.md)
- [Management wanted a waterfall feature. This is what Finance approved.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/management-wanted-a-waterfall-feature-this-is-what-finance-approved.md)
- [She said this was better than what the leg wanted.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/the-woman-said-this-was-better-than-what-the-leg-wanted.md)
- [He wasn’t sure he believed in time anymore.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/he-wasnt-sure-he-believed-in-time-anymore.md)
- [She thought they were bronze enough, apparently.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/she-thought-they-were-bronze-enough-apparently.md)
- [I waited for the next one.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/i-waited-for-the-next-one.md)
- [He thought the labels were keeping them from becoming themselves.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/he-thought-the-labels-were-keeping-them-from-becoming-themselves.md)
- [Something behind the wall was learning the difference between names and bodies.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/something-behind-the-wall-was-learning-the-difference-between-names-and-bodies.md)
- [The tour group was not respecting the itinerary.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/the-tour-group-was-not-respecting-the-itinerary.md)
- [This was either a gift or a warning.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/this-was-either-a-gift-or-a-warning.md)
- [They wouldn’t tell me who or what was calling the numbers. Or why.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/they-wouldnt-tell-me-who-or-what-was-calling-the-numbers.md)
- [The committee agreed the haunted copier was technically improving morale, since people had finally started believing in something.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/the-committee-agreed-the-haunted-copier-was-technically-improving-morale-since-people-had-finally-started-believing-in-something.md)
- [The duck was his emotional support, legal counsel, and ride home.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/the-duck-was-his-emotional-support-legal-counsel-and-ride-home.md)
- [The barber made the same "mop top" joke he apparently makes every time, then gave him the usual.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/the-barber-made-the-same-mop-top-joke-he-apparently-makes-every-time-then-gave-him-the-usual.md)
- [The last person who took the briefcase home came back with a different laugh.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/the-briefcase-was-not-evidence-it-was-a-witness.md)
- [Not sure this is how you launder art.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/not-sure-this-is-how-you-launder-art.md)
- [A hard place, briefly softened.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/a-hard-place-briefly-softened.md)
- [There were signs a ritual had taken place, or possibly even budget planning.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/there-were-signs-a-ritual-had-taken-place-or-possibly-even-budget-planning.md)
- [The machine was not falling for this again.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/the-machine-was-not-falling-for-this-again.md)
- [Sunday bike ride](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/sunday-bike-ride.md) - Went for a bike ride with Nora along the river. Great weather. Fun afternoon.
- ["Here we observe the urban birdwatcher: patient, cautious, and unwilling to jump to conclusions. After sustained observation of the nearby gull, this eager novice had narrowed it down to 'probably bird.'"](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/here-we-observe-the-urban-birdwatcher-patient-cautious-and-unwilling-to-jump-to-conclusions-after-sustained-observation-of-the-nearby-gull-this-eager-novice-had-narrowed-it-down-to-prob.md)
- [Backup shadow. Sensible.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/backup-shadow-sensible.md)
- [The higher the buildings rose, the less they belonged to the street.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/the-higher-the-buildings-rose-the-less-they-belonged-to-the-street.md)
- [His owner was almost done becoming warm again.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/his-owner-was-almost-done-becoming-warm-again.md)
- [I don’t think people are wishing anymore. I think they’re feeding it.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/i-dont-think-people-are-wishing-anymore-i-think-theyre-feeding-it.md)
- [Her new box is working perfectly. The fountain is also here.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/her-new-box-is-working-perfectly-the-fountain-is-also-here.md)
- [Nobody wanted to be the first person to admit this wasn’t necessary.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/nobody-wanted-to-be-the-first-person-to-admit-this-wasnt-necessary.md)
- ["The office plant leaned toward the new intern with the quiet hunger of middle management."](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/the-office-plant-leaned-toward-the-new-intern-with-the-quiet-hunger-of-middle-management.md)
- [You can find a pattern in anything if you stare at it long enough.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/you-can-find-a-pattern-in-anything-if-you-stare-at-it-long-enough.md)
- [The version of me between versions of me.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/the-version-of-me-between-versions-of-me.md) - Home approaches I gather the smaller selves and pretend there’s one
- [Parts for a door that has not committed to being here.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/parts-for-a-door-that-has-not-committed-to-being-here.md)
- [Nobody likes the new copier, least of all the entity that haunts it.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/nobody-liked-the-new-copier-least-of-all-the-entity-that-haunted-it.md)
- [He was cold, rigid, and financially demanding. But the heart wants what it wants.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/he-was-cold-rigid-and-financially-demanding-but-the-heart-wants-what-it-wants.md)
- [Nora called this “not groceries.” Fair.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/nora-called-this-not-groceries-fair.md) - Apparently “cat food and batteries” is not a meal plan. In my defense, there was also one banana.
- ["The restless adolescent returns to the herd, chastened by the discovery that freedom, in the end, is mostly parking lots."](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/the-restless-adolescent-returns-to-the-herd-chastened-by-the-discovery-that-freedom-in-the-end-is-mostly-parking-lots.md)
- [No ancient lullabies yet.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/no-ancient-lullabies-yet.md) - Took the baby monitor from the lobby as a joke. So far: static, one weird click, and once again Mabel questioning my taste from across the table. A disappointing start.
- [The client had thoughts, but couldn’t quite put them into words.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/the-head-had-concerns-but-limited-options.md)
- [Though technically prohibited, raccoon taunting remains popular among those without adult supervision.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/though-technically-prohibited-raccoon-taunting-remains-popular-among-those-without-adult-supervision.md)
- ["Here, among the ficus, pothos, snake plant, and assorted others, the visitor remains almost perfectly still, and by midday the office flora have accepted her as one of their own."](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/here-among-the-ficus-pothos-snake-plant-and-assorted-others-the-visitor-remains-almost-perfectly-still-and-by-midday-the-office-flora-have-accepted-her-as-one-of-their-own.md)
- [Nobody knew who booked the conference room for “revenge,” but Procurement had been quiet all day.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/nobody-knew-who-booked-the-conference-room-for-revenge-but-procurement-had-been-quiet-all-day.md)
- [He heard the first breaths of something too old to hurry. Presumably.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/he-heard-the-first-breath-of-something-too-old-to-hurry.md)
- [The elevator opened on the wrong floor and everyone briefly considered becoming different people.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/the-elevator-opened-on-the-wrong-floor-and-everyone-briefly-considered-becoming-different-people.md)
- [He said if the shadow gets any longer, there’s a risk it may detach and start following people home.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/he-said-if-the-shadow-gets-longer-than-this-it-undergoes-mitosis.md)
- [The baby monitor picks up lullabies from before babies.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/the-baby-monitor-picks-up-lullabies-from-before-babies.md)
- [The plant was fake, which made its promotion even more controversial.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/the-plant-was-fake-which-made-its-promotion-even-more-controversial.md)
- [The hallway narrowed near Accounting, as hallways often do when they know too much.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/the-hallway-narrowed-near-accounting-as-hallways-often-do-when-they-know-too-much.md)
- [The elevator was full, but mostly with tension.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/the-elevator-was-full-but-mostly-with-tension.md)
- [She has decided I shouldn’t be alone today.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/she-has-decided-i-shouldnt-be-alone-today.md) - I’m OK, mostly. And don’t worry. The silly posts will return.
- [“Who’s that?”](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/whos-that.md) - It was the question I’ve been avoiding. So here it is. I hope you’ll forgive the way I’m presenting it. I can’t fully explain it, but I still need this little bit of distance. Also, making it this way kept my mind busy on a day that might have gone badly otherwise. I showed it to Nora first. She sa…
- [Then this happened.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/then-this-happened.md) - "Who's that", she asked.
- [Her face says, “This was not part of the briefing.”](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/her-face-says-this-was-not-part-of-the-briefing.md)
- [Tidy enough for company?](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/tidy-enough-for-company.md) - Turns out Julie (not her real name) left the dinosaur in my backpack on purpose. Apparently she saw Mabel on here and decided she needed to meet her “in real life,” so she created an excuse. Nora texted to apologize, then asked if they could come by tomorrow afternoon so Julie could reclaim the din…
- [The portrait looked disappointed, which was unfair because no one had asked it to attend.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/the-portrait-looked-disappointed-which-was-unfair-because-no-one-had-asked-it-to-attend.md)
- [Found a stowaway.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/found-a-stowaway.md)
- ["Every Thursday, the office chairs chose one employee to learn the old songs."](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/every-thursday-the-office-chairs-choose-one-employee-to-learn-the-old-songs.md)
- [Starting to wonder how many doors we’re missing.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/starting-to-wonder-how-many-doors-were-missing.md) - I was just looking for a spare key to a locked cabinet.
- [All three claimed to be the original pants.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/all-three-claimed-to-be-the-original-pants.md)
- [Three satisfied customers.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/three-satisfied-customers.md)
- [There’s supposed to be a door there.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/theres-supposed-to-be-a-door-there.md) - That’s what he said, anyway. According to the diagram, there’s supposed to be a door there. I asked him how he explained the discrepancy. He shrugged and said, “They come and they go.” Then he walked off. Okay.
- [The dinosaur is acting suspiciously innocent.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/the-dinosaur-is-acting-suspiciously-innocent.md)
- ["No one liked the new intern, especially after the water cooler began calling him Father."](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/no-one-liked-the-new-intern-especially-after-the-water-cooler-began-calling-him-father.md)
- [Said I’ll give it my best shot.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/said-ill-give-it-my-best-shot.md)
- [I hope someone’s checking on him.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/i-hope-someones-checking-on-him.md)
- ["The sandwich had been offered in good faith. The statue remained unmoved."](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/the-sandwich-had-been-offered-in-good-faith-the-statue-remained-unmoved.md)
- [Routine checkup. She’s fine. The vet asked about her name. I told her someone else chose it.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/routine-checkup-shes-fine-the-vet-asked-about-her-name-i-told-her-someone-else-chose-it.md)
- [He was already here, which is somehow less comforting.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/he-was-already-here-which-is-somehow-less-comforting.md)
- [Just coffee.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/just-coffee.md)
- [This feels like either the aftermath or the invitation. Not sticking around to find out.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/this-feels-like-either-the-aftermath-or-the-invitation-not-sticking-around-to-find-out.md)
- [Preparing for another wild day of single adulthood.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/preparing-for-another-wild-day-of-single-adulthood.md)
- [This was supposed to be disconnected years ago.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/this-was-supposed-to-be-disconnected-years-ago.md)
- [Made two by mistake. Still happens sometimes.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/made-two-by-mistake-still-happens-sometimes.md)
- [Nearly at the point where “find the adapter” becomes “observe from a safe distance.”](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/nearly-at-the-point-where-find-the-adapter-becomes-observe-from-a-safe-distance.md)
- [The bus driver waved to nobody in particular. Nobody in particular waved back.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/the-bus-driver-waved-to-nobody-in-particular-nobody-in-particular-waved-back.md)
- ["The mailbox, unsatisfied with their brief daily encounters, attempts a more lasting arrangement."](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/the-mailbox-unsatisfied-with-their-brief-daily-encounters-attempts-a-more-lasting-arrangement.md)
- [This is where the manual gets vague.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/this-is-where-the-manual-gets-vague.md)
- [A collection of small emergencies.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/a-collection-of-small-emergencies.md)
- [Somewhere, a scientist is getting fired for this.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/somewhere-a-scientist-is-getting-fired-for-this.md)
- [He found the exact line between crisis and inconvenience.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/he-found-the-exact-line-between-crisis-and-inconvenience.md)
- [Found some of Mabel’s old things. From before me, I think.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/found-some-of-mabels-old-things-from-before-me-i-think.md)
- [Nora, I tried. There were objections.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/nora-i-tried-there-were-objections.md)
- [He came prepared for several possible conversations.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/he-came-prepared-for-several-possible-conversations.md)
- [Not my finest performance. At least it’s Friday.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/not-my-finest-performance-at-least-its-friday.md)
- [She has concerns about the handling of her treats.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/she-has-concerns-about-the-handling-of-her-treats.md)
- [Existential dread level: normal. Whatever he did seems to have worked.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/existential-dread-level-normal-whatever-he-did-seems-to-have-worked.md)
- [No one wanted to sit down after the machine said, “Do not mistake the body for the patient.”](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/no-one-wanted-to-sit-down-after-the-machine-said-do-not-mistake-the-body-for-the-patient.md)
- [He had narrowed it down to two cards and one fruit.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/he-had-narrowed-it-down-to-two-cards-and-one-fruit.md)
- [My work here is done. Her ruling, not mine.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/my-work-here-is-done-her-ruling-not-mine.md)
- [I shouldn’t have let Mabel pack my lunch.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/i-shouldnt-have-let-mabel-pack-my-lunch.md)
- ["The bench was dedicated to a man who, by all accounts, preferred standing."](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/the-bench-was-dedicated-to-a-man-who-by-all-accounts-preferred-standing.md)
- ["No one could prove the Ficus was in charge, which was exactly how the Ficus wanted it."](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/no-one-could-prove-the-ficus-was-in-charge-which-was-exactly-how-the-ficus-wanted-it.md)
- [Nora. Formerly “the shoe lady.”](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/nora-formerly-the-shoe-lady.md) - We had a good talk. Turns out we have a few things in common, which I’m not going to get into right now. But I’m glad we met. Looking forward to seeing her again.
- ["The ducks accepted his apology, but not his version of events."](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/the-ducks-accepted-his-apology-but-not-his-version-of-events.md)
- [The first rule of puddle club is no one admits they’re in puddle club.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/the-first-rule-of-puddle-club-is-no-one-admits-theyre-in-puddle-club.md)
- ["The statue’s arm was raised in triumph, though historians now believe he was just hailing a cab."](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/the-statues-arm-was-raised-in-triumph-though-historians-now-believe-he-was-just-hailing-a-cab.md)
- [There it is. Blue. Suede, even. A suede blue shoe.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/there-it-is-blue-suede-even-a-suede-blue-shoe.md) - Small update: the blue shoe did have contact information in it, which I am obviously not posting here. We talked for a few minutes. She seemed lovely, and also very aware that this was an unusual way to introduce herself. We’re going to meet for coffee on Sunday.
- [There was no policy for fruit with unclear intentions.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/there-was-no-policy-for-fruit-with-unclear-intentions.md)
- [I don’t think he was reading the schedule. I think the schedule was reading him.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/i-dont-think-he-was-reading-the-schedule-i-think-the-schedule-was-reading-him.md)
- [She says the clown did it. I believe her.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/she-says-the-clown-did-it-i-believe-her.md)
- [The machine had taken liberties with the sacred text.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/the-machine-had-taken-liberties-with-the-sacred-text.md)
- [Everyone asks who watches the watchers. Nobody asks if they’re doing okay.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/everyone-asks-who-watches-the-watchers-nobody-asks-if-theyre-doing-okay.md)
- [This time there was a note.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/this-time-there-was-a-note.md) - I wasn’t scared, exactly. Just a little weirded out. I look forward to seeing your blue shoe.
- [He said it happens sometimes. He did not specify what “it” was.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/he-said-it-happens-sometimes-he-did-not-specify-what-it-was.md)
- [There appears to have been a botanical incident.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/there-appears-to-have-been-a-botanical-incident.md)
- [I think she’s laundering reality in small batches, in more than one sense of the word.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/i-think-shes-laundering-reality-in-small-batches-in-more-than-one-sense-of-the-word.md)
- [This is either maintenance or containment. Either way, progress.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/this-is-either-maintenance-or-containment-either-way-progress.md)
- ["The feline’s posture may suggest a sun-induced torpor, but this would be a mistake. One ear remains active, monitoring for snacks, birds, and procedural violations."](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/the-felines-posture-suggests-sun-induced-torpor-but-this-would-be-a-mistake-one-ear-remains-active-monitoring-for-snacks-birds-and-procedural-violations.md)
- [Management asked for a panic room. Finance approved mild concern.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/management-asked-for-a-panic-room-finance-approved-mild-concern.md)
- [I don’t think the other side is sending their best portals.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/i-dont-think-the-other-side-is-sending-their-best-portals.md)
- [Not everyone can pull off suitcase potatoes.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/not-everyone-can-pull-off-suitcase-potatoes.md)
- [Honestly? Good for them.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/honestly-good-for-them.md)
- [Not sure what isn’t here yet. Don’t love that there might be an answer.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/not-sure-what-isnt-here-yet-dont-love-that-theres-an-answer.md)
- [A strange amount of ceremony for chips.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/a-strange-amount-of-ceremony-for-chips.md)
- ["In this enclosure, the worker performs small acts of competence for reasons not fully understood."](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/in-this-enclosure-the-worker-performs-small-acts-of-competence-for-reasons-not-fully-understood.md)
- ["The early commuter is a cautious creature, preferring corners, windows, and low expectations."](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/the-early-commuter-is-a-cautious-creature-preferring-corners-windows-and-low-expectations.md)
- ["Having secured a place aboard the train, the commuter enters a state of stillness that is not quite rest."](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/having-secured-a-place-aboard-the-train-the-commuter-enters-a-state-of-stillness-that-is-not-quite-rest.md)
- ["Takeaway container in hand, the subject retreats to a quieter location to feed."](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/having-secured-a-takeaway-container-the-subject-retreats-to-a-quieter-location-to-feed.md)
- ["Here, in the soft light of morning, the household supervisor has resumed her post, overseeing a breakfast operation in which she has no formal duties, but considerable influence."](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/here-in-the-soft-light-of-morning-the-household-supervisor-has-resumed-her-post-overseeing-a-breakfast-operation-in-which-she-has-no-formal-duties-but-considerable-influence.md)
- ["Each evening, countless individuals return to their nests carrying provisions in thin plastic sacs."](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/each-evening-countless-individuals-return-to-their-nests-carrying-provisions-in-thin-plastic-sacs.md)
- [Nice to see somebody here with a practical relationship to reality.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/nice-to-see-somebody-here-with-a-practical-relationship-to-reality.md)
- [I’ve never seen him at my station before.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/ive-never-seen-him-at-my-station-before.md)
- [Mabel does not consider him lap-worthy.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/history-will-misinterpret-this-completely-2.md)
- [History will misinterpret this completely.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/history-will-misinterpret-this-completely.md)
- [This feels like a metaphor with poor supervision.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/this-feels-like-a-metaphor-with-poor-supervision.md)
- [Everything becomes archaeology if neglected at the correct speed.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/everything-becomes-archaeology-if-neglected-at-the-correct-speed.md)
- [An ambitious amount of not my problem.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/an-ambitious-amount-of-not-my-problem.md)
- [Had a weird dream last night. Don’t remember most of it, just a few images. Tried to recreate one of them here. I guess the shoe thing is getting to me a little.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/had-a-weird-dream-last-night-dont-remember-most-of-it-just-a-few-images-tried-to-recreate-one-of-them-here-i-guess-the-shoe-thing-is-getting-to-me-a-little.md)
- [Not every omen has ambition.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/not-every-omen-has-ambition.md)
- ["Old now, and with little strength left for the movement of the herd, he has withdrawn to the edge of the territory to wait for the end alone."](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/old-now-and-with-little-strength-left-for-the-movement-of-the-herd-he-has-withdrawn-to-the-edge-of-the-territory-to-wait-for-the-end-alone.md)
- [She’s calling it teamwork. I have doubts.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/shes-calling-it-teamwork-i-have-doubts.md)
- [Maybe this is all identity is in the end. A shape left briefly in the world.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/maybe-this-is-all-identity-is-in-the-end-a-shape-left-briefly-in-the-world.md)
- [Is it you, little buddy? Are you the one behind the shoe thing?](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/is-it-you-little-buddy-are-you-the-one-behind-the-shoe-thing.md)
- [The pigeon was giving a little “what are you going to do about it.” Poor Mabel.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/the-pigeon-was-giving-a-little-what-are-you-going-to-do-about-it-poor-mabel.md)
- [I’m beginning to suspect she has a master plan.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/im-beginning-to-suspect-she-has-a-master-plan.md)
- [If twice is coincidence and three times a pattern, then four times means somebody is messing with me.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/if-twice-is-coincidence-and-three-times-a-pattern-then-four-times-means-somebody-is-messing-with-me.md)
- [Good turnout tonight.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/good-turnout-tonight.md)
- [The criteria for ascension remain unclear.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/the-criteria-for-ascension-remain-unclear.md)
- [He looks like he expects the day to justify itself.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/he-looks-like-he-expects-the-day-to-justify-itself.md)
- [Nobody else is supposed to still be here.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/nobody-else-is-supposed-to-still-be-here.md)
- ["The first wave is modest, but unmistakable: the herd's spring migration has begun."](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/the-first-wave-is-modest-but-unmistakable-the-herds-spring-migration-has-begun.md)
- [This was already in progress.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/this-was-already-in-progress.md)
- [Mannequin lady is back. Her errands continue at a level I do not understand.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/mannequin-lady-is-back-her-errands-continue-at-a-level-i-do-not-understand.md)
- [I was searching for batteries, and found mortality.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/i-was-searching-for-batteries-and-found-mortality.md)
- [Third solo shoe I’ve seen lately. Not sure if this is actually common or if I’ve just trained myself to notice weird little things now.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/third-solo-shoe-ive-seen-lately-not-sure-if-this-is-actually-common-or-if-ive-just-trained-myself-to-notice-weird-little-things-now.md)
- [I’m choosing not to ask.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/im-choosing-not-to-ask-2.md)
- [Looks like middle management has molted.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/looks-like-middle-management-has-molted.md)
- [Everybody else was going to work. He seemed to be going to an arrangement.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/everybody-else-was-going-to-work-he-seemed-to-be-going-to-an-arrangement.md)
- [The line between squirrel and deity has narrowed.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/the-line-between-squirrel-and-deity-has-narrowed.md)
- [There was no attempt at diplomacy.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/there-was-no-attempt-at-diplomacy.md)
- [They’ve agreed to keep it professional.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/theyve-agreed-to-keep-it-professional.md)
- [She’s threatening a veto.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/shes-threatening-a-veto.md)
- [This feels less like an offer and more like a warning.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/this-feels-less-like-an-offer-and-more-like-a-warning.md) - I took it, because of course I did.
- [An uncomfortable level of relatability here.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/an-uncomfortable-level-of-relatability-here.md)
- [I’m choosing not to ask.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/im-choosing-not-to-ask.md)
- [Something must have gone very wrong, very fast.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/something-must-have-gone-very-wrong-very-fast.md)
- [Bed-making remains a negotiated process.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/bed-making-remains-a-negotiated-process.md)
- [I’ve been overruled.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/ive-been-overruled.md)
- [They have chosen a leader.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/they-have-chosen-a-leader.md)
- [A difficult connection, apparently.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/a-difficult-connection-apparently.md)
- [Pretty sure this is the building’s brain.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/pretty-sure-this-is-the-buildings-brain.md)
- [She remains deeply committed to oversight.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/she-remains-deeply-committed-to-oversight.md)
- [Dinner with management.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/good-to-have-it-in-writing-2.md)
- [Good to have it in writing.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/good-to-have-it-in-writing.md)
- [Actually, this is Mabel. We’ve been through a lot together. She’s helped me more than she knows.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/actually-this-is-mabel-weve-been-through-a-lot-together-shes-helped-me-more-than-she-knows.md)
- [I appear to have been issued a cat.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/i-appear-to-have-been-issued-a-cat.md)
- [Looks like this meeting broke containment.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/looks-like-this-meeting-broke-containment.md)
- [Same platform, same carefully cropped participation.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/same-platform-same-carefully-cropped-participation.md)
- [Why no face?](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/why-no-face.md) - I know it’s a little odd to keep posting around my face instead of just posting a normal picture. Sorry about that. I know it probably makes this feel stranger than it needs to. I think I got used to hiding a little too well while I was away, and I’m not quite ready to be fully out there again yet.…
- [Quiet enough to hear myself overthink.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/quiet-enough-to-hear-myself-overthink.md)
- [Somebody missed the meeting.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/somebody-missed-the-meeting.md)
- [More atmosphere than usual, same amount of me.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/more-atmosphere-than-usual-same-amount-of-me.md)
- [Not sure why this made me sad.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/not-sure-why-this-made-me-sad.md)
- [Trying to get ahead of next week for once.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/trying-to-get-ahead-of-next-week-for-once.md)
- [Decided to really let loose and stand near some lights.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/decided-to-really-let-loose-and-stand-near-some-lights.md)
- [There’s probably a lesson here, but I’m at lunch.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/theres-probably-a-lesson-here-but-im-at-lunch.md)
- [Somebody’s day went sideways.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/somebodys-day-went-sideways.md)
- [Wrapping up the day with a little structured loitering.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/wrapping-up-the-day-with-a-little-structured-loitering.md)
- [Took it too far and entered a second aisle.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/took-it-too-far-and-entered-a-second-aisle.md)
- [Why I'm doing this](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/untitled.md) - I’m still not used to posting things. Most of my camera roll is just accidental photos of my shoes or the inside of my pocket, so this has been a weird little experiment. I think I started this because the days were getting away from me too easily. Work, train, coffee, dishes, sleep, repeat. Which…
- [Trying a more open-concept disappointment.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/trying-a-more-open-concept-disappointment.md)
- [Back on my preferred form of staring into space.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/back-on-my-preferred-form-of-staring-into-space.md)
- [Cooking remains more of a concept.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/cooking-remains-more-of-a-concept.md)
- [The glamorous side of the profession.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/the-glamorous-side-of-the-profession.md)
- [Too early to go to work, too late to go home.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/too-early-to-go-to-work-too-late-to-go-home.md)
- [Still getting used to this again.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/still-getting-used-to-this-again.md)
- [This is probably fine.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/this-is-probably-fine.md)
- [Resetting for the week.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/resetting-for-the-week.md)
- [Calling this a successful evening.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/calling-this-a-successful-evening.md)
- [Running errands.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/running-errands.md)
- [Letting the morning happen.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/letting-the-morning-happen.md)
- [Done for the week.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/done-for-the-week.md)
- [This’ll do.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/thisll-do.md)
- [Hope it found its person.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/hope-it-found-its-person.md)
- [Running a little early today.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/running-a-little-early-today.md)
- [Not helping the motivation level.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/not-helping-the-motivation-level.md)
- [Long day.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/long-day.md)
- [Back at it.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/back-at-it.md)
- [City looks better before I’m fully awake.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/city-looks-better-before-im-fully-awake.md)
- [Trying to get back into a routine.](https://www.smallfailuresofreality.com/trying-to-get-back-into-a-routine.md)

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